Updated: Jun 18, 2020
This letter is to all those who are in a process.
I grew up in a Christian home with Pastors as my parents and although I will be forever grateful for the upbringing I had I would soon come to realize in my teenage years that my parent’s great faith cannot be my own.
No matter how much they prayed for me this walk is one i had to walk alone. See I had an experience with God, you know those amazing cry out to God, fall down to your face and to the point my body would shake. This is where God first spoke to me. He said Johnmark, I have set you apart and I have called you to much greater things then you could ever think of. My first instinct was to never leave that place but eventually you have start preparing yourself to what God has called you to be.
So began the process...... in this season of preparation I’ve gotten to learn what it is to die to one self. The man that I once thought I was is no longer me. Maybe you can relate, I thought I knew a lot but being in this process made me realize I don’t know anything at all. The things that I once held onto in order to hold me up is now being stripped off of me. My glue that once held me together no longer can withstand the flood that is being poured out by God. See I prayed a dangerous prayer, I said God break me, mold me, use me. These words are sweet sounds to a God who wants nothing more to transform you to be used for his Glory. I’ve been broken and now I’m being molded for his use.
I’ve spent 22 years in the church and No one warns you about the molding process. It’s here where you learn to be fully dependent on God. It’s here where you learn what it takes to serve God’s people.(Trust me it’s not easy) It’s here where you will feel the love and compassion for others that will keep you up late at night. It’s here where distractions become louder than ever before. It is here where others will fail you. It is here where you will feel so alone but so close to God. It’s here where the person you once thought you were dies. I’m learning that growing pains are a real thing. I am coming to terms with what God is taking out of me, things that I once thought I needed, I no longer need. God is replacing these things with himself. It hurts and I’m here to tell you that this is the best place for you to be. If you are being molded that means God has his hands all over you. Let me tell you that there is no better place then to be held in the hands by the father.
Sure it hurts to be molded but there’s this deep satisfaction that I am becoming who God has designed me to be. If you are running from this process or scared to see what will come out....don’t be. Someone once told me “You can run from God but you can’t outrun God” eventually you will come to this process and when you do just allow God to do what he does best, transform. You will become a new person, someone who is far greater than you could ever imagine because when you allow God to take out who you thought you were and allow him to do his work, you will see that it was never you begin with but He who is within you.
No matter where you are right now whether you are in leadership or you are just starting to enter in Christianity remember you are in a process so give yourself grace and forgiveness just as God is forgiving you and working within you. You aren’t perfect, you will fail but get up and keep walking, keep fighting, keep praying, don’t stop and don’t look back. His grace is greater than titles.