You may have read the title of this blog and thought, “what is a P51 moment?” Well P51 is short for Psalms 51. You know, the Psalm that is transparency at its finest? But please note that the transparency did not happen overnight. This Psalm was written by King David. Notice the title in front of his name? It wasn’t just David it was King David. Talk about a big title! I think King is one of the highest titles an earthly being can have. We know that King David had some highs and lows in his life. Can you relate to having some highs and lows? I know I can! He started as the underdog, the shepherded boy who defeated the giant. Later he became King, the King who slept with a married woman and had her husband killed. Not sent away but killed. Though he was a murder and committed adultery, we still refer to him as a man who was after God’s own heart.It’s crazy how much I can relate to King David. Maybe you can too. Aren’t we all in the running to have a heart after God’s own heart? That is all I have ever wanted. To love God, have his love, and be his love. Even in my darkest sin I never stopped wanting to have a heart like God. If anything I wanted His heart even more because my heart was in such a dark place. Even in my sin I longed for him, but at the same time I wasn’t ready to deal with things or let go of things. I think that when King David was in the mist of his sin, he enjoyed it. He saw Bathsheba and thought she was hot! His lust got the best of him and he sent for her. He wasn’t the only one to blame though. Home girl knew where she was bathing! She knew who could see her. When they finally got together in bed, it felt great. Sin feels good. It can feel real good. I think the last thing King David wanted was to stop. And just when he thought he was committing the worse sin, he had her husband murdered. Back up a little into the story and you see that King David didn’t even go into battle. He was the King and he didn’t even go fight. You see, when we are a leader and we start getting caught up in our sin we don’t even desire to go into battle anymore. That is what happened to King David, and man.. I have been there. It’s not a fun place to be but you’re so torn. Part of you wants to be that person after God’s own heart, and part of you doesn’t want to let go of that sin in your life. He wasn’t just David, he was King David. But even King David made some really bad choices.Now let’s get back to the P51 moment. The Prophet Nathan knew what David had done and he confronted David in 2 Samuel 12:1-6.
The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”
5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
Then the Prophet Nathan tells him “you are that man!” You took another man’s wife and had him killed. After being confronted by his mistakes and feeling the weight of what he had done he wrote Psalms 51. The whole Psalm screams repentance! He uses words and phrases like, “have mercy one me”, “great compassion”, “wash away”, “cleanse me”, “create in me a pure heart”, and “restore me!” You read this and you know that King David is ready to turn things around and be restored by God. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had some Psalms 51 moments in my life. Those moments where you can’t help but ugly cry at the feet of Jesus because of the mess that you made. The really cool part of this Psalm is that David not only repents in this Psalm, but he offers his brokenness to God. A broken spirit, a broken, and contrite heart. He says he will teach transgressors God’s ways. He would let God use his brokenness to teach. I want to let my brokenness teach. That’s why I’m writing this.David wasn’t just David, he was King David. I am not just Krystal, to a lot of people I am Pastor Krystal. It’s a lot of responsibility and it brings a “higher expectation.” But like King David, I, Pastor Krystal have fallen before. I have a title in front of my name, but I am still part of the same mankind that fell way back in the Garden of Eden just like you. I want to do better, I am doing better, but I am not perfect. Even though King David sinned he was still after the heart of God. I am not perfect, but I am still after the heart of God. I know you have a title before your name and I don’t want to down play the responsibility with that but I also don’t want to ignore your struggle. Take heart He has overcome the world! You are a part of that, even more than you are part of the mankind that fell into sin way back in the garden of Eden. The same forgiveness that you preach and offer to your congregation or the people under your care is the same forgiveness offered to you. May you find and experience your P51 moment because Grace is greater than your title!