You might read the title of this blog and think “Omg does she not want to live in this world anymore?” And actually, the answer is yes. I don’t want to live in this world anymore, but I do want to live. The truth is, I’m tired of living in a world where darkness seems to be stronger than light. I am tired of a world where it seems like more people choose to hurt then to help and where flesh has a tighter grip then the spirit. Even more so, I am tired of a world where we are running from God instead of to God. I recently went to Las Vegas for the weekend, and as I was walking through the city, I could feel my soul grieving. Now, I am not saying that everything there is bad but rather using it as an example of a picture of the comfort of sin. I looked around and saw with a different eye: an eye that was sick and tired of darkness having more glory than light. As I continued to walk, I began to think about the past and the times I gave more glory to darkness rather than light in the very city I was in: Las Vegas. In that moment, I was overwhelmed with sadness because of all the lies the enemy has spoken, and has continued to speak, over the people in this world. Sin is sin for a reason.
I once heard a quote that says “sin will take you further than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost you more than you are willing to pay.” Those words or so true! Walking out of God’s will doesn’t always happen overnight! It happens compromise after compromise and justification after justification. I think we are all guilty of compromising and justifying our actions- or maybe I am the only Christian with that problem from time to time. I have had times in my life where I have been solely focused on God and on my calling to be a pastor. In that season, I was on mission with that focus and though it wasn’t always easy, I was in God’s will for my life. I have also had other seasons where I’ve been distant and disobedient in my walk with God and neglecting my call. Those times have been very dark, lonely, and damaging. All that to say:
I know when I am doing right by God and when I am not.
When I think about or revisit those times I mentioned, it’s not that I want to live in the past or seem like I don’t forgive myself, but rather it grieves my heart to think that for a moment or a season I actually thought that this world had something greater for me than my God. The truth is, this world has nothing for me. When I say this world, I’m talking about all the worldly things that pull me away from God and the calling I have in my life. No worldly man, no night out, no drink, no device, nothing is better than living in God’s will for my life. I have had times where my actions prove a different mindset, but I was never too far gone that God couldn’t snatch me back, bestow His grace and forgiveness, and walk with me out of the world and into his presence. Where I work we just finished a chapel series titled “sick of it.” It was a series about being sick of sin in our life. I can honestly say that this series title is how I feel. I am so sick of sin, so sick of the world, so sick of the darkness, so sick of justifying, so sick of compromising, so sick of lacking conviction, so sick of thinking that anything or anyone can bring more joy to my life and the life of those around me than Jesus! There is a worship song that says, “this word has nothing for me, I will follow you.” I think about how many times I sang that line and meant those words. However, there have been times where there was a compromise here and there, and my actions were twisting the lyrics to that song into “this world has so much for me, I’m not going to follow you Jesus”.
It’s sad to think I have gotten to that point in moments of my life. Maybe you who are reading this have gotten to that point in your life too. The thing is, it doesn’t even have to mean that you went out doing anything crazy, but just the simple fact that God wasn’t the center of your life for a mere moment is a huge compromise. I can assure you that most of us have been there from time to time. With all of this in mind, I say no more! No more living like the battle hasn’t already been won! No more living like you are not a child of God! No more giving darkness more place than light because darkness can never outshine the light of God. No more compromising our calling, our dignity, our testimony, or our relationship with God. No more justifying our sin but rather living just lives. Let’s all strive to be sick of sin and find our healing in Jesus! I know that sometimes the world can seem so attractive and appealing. Whether you are a pastor, leader, or have no title at all, you are not exempt from the cravings of the world! But if you are craving the world, it’s probably because you are lacking in spiritual substance. Make sure you are feeding the right hunger in your life. Remember this world has nothing for us! Let’s follow Him! This world has nothing for me, but my God has everything I’ll ever need and want. How beautiful would this world be if we all followed Him!